In Your Face

Maybe it's just that I am still on a college campus and also go to law school with lazy, grimey boys (yeah, I said it!), but I am finding men's hairstyles/beardstyles INTOLERABLE lately.

NO, you do not look cool/studious/sexy/handsome/debonair/insert any other adjective you're trying for here.

YES, I am distracted when I am talking to you because there is a piece of lint/fuzz/God-knows-what stuck to your freakin' hairy FACE!

And if you pair this up with 'skinny' jeans, sneakers from the 80s (yes, if they're from the 80s, I'm going to call it like I see it: SNEAKERS!), and a "witty" graphic tee, I swear I'll...I'll...well, hate you silently. So take that.

Contrary to what it seems like, I usually don't like focusing on others' appearances or judging them. God knows I'm no fashionista. But lately, I have been cheering and fist-pumping when I see those Axe ads telling guys to get "girl-approved hair." Yes, I hate that company for their sexist, heterosexist, and all sorts of other "ist" advertising, but at least this time they're promoting a cause I can get behind.

And to make matters worse, I saw this ad in the Sunday paper:

OH. MY. GOD. Now, this isn't the nasty, scruffy beard that I am so angry about but look at the AFTER picture that they are HAPPY with!! (Yeah, yeah- "...with which they are happy.")

He looks so much better before, and frankly, so does she.

Ahhhh, judging and spreading my message to the masses: my work here is done.