(Insert Loud Annoying Sound Here)

So today I woke up naturally, with bright sunshine streaming through my windows, kitties curled up warmly....eerrrRRRRRR (screeching record sound).

Oh, wait, that's right. I woke up frantically to the sound of my FOUR smoke detectors going off, the cats running around crazily, and my heart and brain quickly racing to catch up with what was going on.

I checked around my apartment: no smoke, no fire (so I guess it's true what the say...well, in reverse); just agitated kitties. I peaked into the stairwell. Sure enough, deafening noise, strobes flashing everywhere...

I went out on my balcony to see a few people evacuating and congregating in the streets in their jammies. Well good mornin', Dolly!*

I grabbed my pink robe, my ridiculous red Floatie shoes, and tromped down the stairs.

Maintenance showed up. Finally. Finally The World's Worst Noise was silenced.

And then the firetruck arrived. I was really starting to panic, frantically searching the sky for smoke.

But then we all huddled for The Announcement. The hot, sweaty firefighters (okay, older and tired-looking firefighters) told us that... wait for it... someone had pulled the GD alarm. O. M. G.

I've heard of this crap happening at schools, but an apartment complex? RightHand says I'm paranoid, but I'm always thinking of the next way someone is trying to commit a crime against me.** So, today, my theory was that someone pulled the alarm, knew people would evacuate, and then subsequently robbed them. Thus, I certainly locked my apartment door on my way out.***

So, I was finally released to return to my slumber. As I began to drift off to sleep, these final words passed through my lips in a whisper: "I will find you. I will find you and I will kill you."

Because I'm a bad ass like that.****

And one last treat. Here's a picture of ALL. THAT. DRAMA.:


* Last time I checked I was 24, but the numbers may have been smudged; 84 sounds more accurate.
** There's that 84 yr. old talkin' again.
***Also didn't want the maintenance folks breaking in to find 3 cats and no paid pet deposit...shhhh...
**** I'm not a bad ass. At all. But you already knew that. ;)