Thursday, January 29, 2009

TMI. For Sure.

So, RightHand says I shouldn't tell you all about the time I ALMOST CRAPPED MY PANTS on I-285, but gather 'round, children, because this is the story of how I ALMOST CRAPPED MY PANTS on I-285.

So, remember when I was sick a few weeks back? Possible ulcer, virus, and irritable bowel syndrome (yes, still sounds like a bucket of fun!)? No? How sweet of you.

Anyway, during said life-threatening/fleeting illness, I decided that yes, my hair was much too frumpy and no, I would not tolerate it one more day. So, I made an appointment with Magical Mario (or, in person, just Mario). Mario and I go wayyyy back...literally to 8th grade. He is the best hairdresser in the world because he LISTENS to me, people, in a way no other man has. I say, "Fancy is fine for uh, anyone but me. Make it simple. I have no time for hair stylin'." I mean, c'mon, I can't be stylin' in EVERY single way, now can I? ;) So Mario appropriately makes it something that I can simply wash and blow dry every morning to get the same look, without fail. And I love him for it. As I loved him the first time we met, he ran his fingers through my hair and said, "We can definitely work with this!" in his Spanish accent. He really is Ricky Martin with scissors. Only not gay, oddly enough.

But I digress. So, Magical Mario only works on Wednesdays and Thursdays now- ugh! How does that work with anyone's schedule?! And he is now 1 hr. 30 mins. from me. But I will not be deterred!! I made my 5:30 appointment on Thursday and hit the road after my 3:30 class.

I'm a native Atlantan. I should've known better.

You've all probably heard that Atlanta rivals L.A. year after year for the oh-so-coveted honor of Worst Traffic. And honestly, I always hope we win so that there is some sort of validation for the hell that we frequently experience. Thus, when I say that I-285 looked like this:

I am not kidding.

A semi had caught on fire. You know what else caught on fire? My freakin' intestines. I had to GO, people. GO. IMMEDIATELY. As my sister and I like to say when there is no public toilet to be found in the whole of Europe, "If there were a toilet under me right now it wouldn't be fast enough." True dat.

So, I call RightHand for emotional support. I may not have conveyed that. Instead, I may have been shouting, "I'm going to sh*t myself!!!!!" repeatedly, tears welling in my eyes.
And you all know that RightHand and I are soooo in love, kissey kissey, so what did he do? Comfort me? Oh no. LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY. The man could barely breathe.

All I wanted was reassurance that, if necessary, I could buy new jeans and everything would be fine and he would still love me. Instead, I got angry and frustrated, quickly said "Love you!" and hung up.

I then proceeded to reclaim my rightful spot as the mayor of Crazyville, and honked my way over SEVEN lanes. Thank God people understand road rage emergencies, as they yielded to my aggression, though such action is not an atypical event on Atlanta highways.

I then sped down the SHOULDER of the highway, to the closest exit, breaking all sorts of traffic laws (Red lights?! I don't think so!!) until I flew into the parking lot of the ever trusty Waffle House. God Bless you, WaHo.

I'm fine now. :)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Michelle to Your Barack

Here is one of RightHand's favorite pictures from the inauguration. He said it reminded him of us: I'm definitely seein' the resemblance:

Harhar. But seriously, we do have tons of inside jokes and many happy, intimate moments. Yay!

On a related note, I am simply in love with the new first family. I feel like the Clintons were a strained, unhappy married couple, the Bushes were a "typical", happy couple, yet conservative/restrained , but the Obamas are just so in love, so made for eachother, and so not afraid of PDA. Love it. Plus, cutest little girls. And soon a puppy will be added to the mix! Bliss!

Friday, January 23, 2009

My Right-hand Man

I think it's time to finally introduce you all to the special man in my life:

Okay, he's one, but not him.

Good Lord, no!

He and I are reallllly not well-acquainted.

Ah, yes- that's the one!

That there is my boyfriend and love-of-my-life. Now, I've been trying to come up with a cute blog "code name" for him, and realized that I have frequently called him (in real life) my "right-hand man", both because he is my partner in crime and life and because he is such a part of me that when we are apart (way too frequently!) it feels like my right-hand is missing. (And I'm right-handed, so that's sayin' a lot. He, as a leftie, may not understand the analogy ;).

Annnyyyway, so he shall henceforth be known as RightHand. Which is doubly clever because that corresponds with his initials. And now I realize that he has commented on this blog, so you know his name is Ryan. But still. RightHand it is. :)

So, a brief intro... RightHand and I met through YES! MATCH.COM! I will shout it from the rooftops! One of my life's missions is to take the stigma away from online dating for a few reasons: 1. I did it! 2. Many people do it, but lie about it! Happiness secret-keepers!! 3. I want more people to try it! Seriously, just think about it. The internet is dangerous in many ways, but online dating can be done very safely. And you get to pre-screen your dates (provided they're honest, which all of mine were, actually!).

RightHand and I got off to a rather funny start, as he was my SECOND date of the fateful night. My first one, dinner and then a...well, nothing, was kind of a bust, and I was home by 7:00, all dressed up and no place to go. RightHand's e-mail offer of coffee or a drink came in, and I was willing. I made HIM call ME, he left a witty message (of course I screened the call!), and we met up for coffee. We talked well into the night, shutting the coffee place down at midnight. From there, we went to a coffee and wine bar and hung out until 3:00 a.m. Frantic text messages from my roomie and sister aside, we were fulling into each other and thrilled to have met a match. :) As we hugged good-bye that night, we made plans for the very next day. Sometimes you just know.

More to come, but there is a small intro into a very BIG part of my life. :)

Cool Video

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Fashion Disaster

I am no fashionista, but good Lord. One of my professors actually wears these shoes (though in black):
And she's young! And cute! And just...noooo!

I'm having a hard time concentrating when the room is so ripe for a makeover.

Inauguration '09: My Thoughts

Clearly a big day today. So much excitement (and freezingness!) in the air. Okay, okay, it's not that bad in Georgia, but 34 degrees isn't exactly warm and besides, I was cold just watching the crazy inauguration-goers on TV.

So, I had class until 11:30 this morning, then rushed to my car, determined to get home in time to see Obama sworn in. I started panicking at 11:45, but was able to turn on the radio to hear some excellent NPR commentary on people wearing SO MANY RED AND BLUE HATS! Gee, thanks.

Luckily, I made it in time to see some Aretha Franklin, Biden, YoYo Ma, (though not necessarily in that order- my memory is failing me) and then, of course, the Man of the Hour. All with my big kitty, Gatsby, curled up, purring, on my lap. Perfect.

So here is the preeminent analysis that you have been waiting for all day:

1. Oh. My. God. The oath! THE OATH!!! I freaked out when Obamarama was seemingly flustered/confused/something and messed up the first line. ABC News later explained that it was CJ Roberts, Jr. who mixed up the order of the words. Gasp! Scandal! I truly hope that wasn't some sort of intentional political move.

2. Those oaths are hard! Biden did an excellent job, as the VP's oath almost seemed a bit more long-winded than the President's. Literally, it was like, "I, Joseph R. Biden, do solemnly swear that I will brush my teeth every morning and night, visit Amsterdam, and buy everyone in the country a cute little pony." Okay, the words may vary but MY GOD he had to repeat back long phrases!

3. It may be wise, and obvious, to insert here that this is the first inauguration that I remember watching, ever.

4. Michelle Obama's dress:

I am at a 75% likeable level right now. At first I was appalled by the yellow, but it has certainly grown on me and I appreciate the bold choice. Plus, Biden's wife had stolen the classic red option. I was also going to gripe once more about her dress on election night in Grant Park, but looking back it doesn't seem so bad and, dare I say, I think I now like it:

5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Aretha Franklin rocked, she really did.

6. Obama's speech was, in a word, perfect. As one commentator pointed out so astutely, it really didn't contain simple, catchy soundbites. It had substance, and I think it had great direction and tone. Really enjoyed.

7. Awkwardness. Did anyone else feel weird hearing Obama say things like "We have to pick up and start over", etc. with Bush right behind him? What was going through Bush's head?

8. Tradition. This was certainly a day for tradition. I believe the inauguration purposely echoed many aspects of Lincoln's life, including the Bible that was used for the swearing in to the dishes served for lunch. In these times, I needed, and greatly enjoyed, such stability.

9. Out with the old, in with the new. As someone who voted for both Bush and Obama, I am fortunate to have my executive choices in the White House for at least a solid 12 years. As Obama and Bush walked down the capitol steps to the awaiting helicopter, I had tears in my eyes. I remembered my first presidential vote for Bush, and how much I believed in him. And still, to an extent, do. His presidency had some incredible ups, but probably a lot more downs. I had just hoped for so much more, things could have been so different. But now I have Obama. I was tickled to here that, in keeping with tradition, there will be a personal note from Bush waiting for Obama in the Oval Office. Very cool. And no matter what you think of Bush, I have heard a lot of good things about the civility and stability of this transfer of power, and for that, I am so thankful.

10. Never knew that new presidents had to sign executive orders so quickly to keep them going from the previous administration, but it makes sense. Maybe it's just the law student in me, but it did make me nervous that Obama wasn't reading what he signed. ;)

11. The puppy. When will it arrive?!!!

I am so excited and content. Best wishes, America; I am so proud of you.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

We Report, You Decide.

Even though I voted for Obama this year, I just can't shake my addiction to checking every day. But I'm getting close.

Exhibit A: Who is ordering the closing of Gitmo?

Exhibit B: I never that "having it all" meant an orange woman and a Lexus. C'mon! It could at least be a Ferrari or Bentley. But thanks for the enlightenment. God, they are so patriarchal I'm going to barf.*

*This did get me thinking, though, about what "having it all" means to me. Instead of that D-Bag and his orange Barbie, I offer you my vision. Yes, yes, I know I have subscribed to the fantasy of suburbia, but "having it all", to me, is having a healthy, (somewhat) stable family, a comfortable lifestyle, and, of course, adorable pets. And ice cream. What else do you need??

Age of Innocence

A few bloggers posted about this man a few months ago, and now I am contributing my own snazzy pick of him, found in the American Bar Association Journal.

Seriously. 69 years old? The ad says he looks like that through "diet, exercise, and hormone optimization". Oh gee, that sounds natural and healthy. This takes the image of creepy old men to a whole new level, eh?

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

It Must Be Done

I hate to do this, but it must be done. I wanted to post a quick post to let everyone know that I am alive and (almost) well.

Winter break was full of business and tons of plans and did not fulfill those fantasies I had during finals of me sitting on the couch, drooling. Simply drooling. Ahhhh....

No, instead there were deaths, illnesses, family tension, and... a possible ulcer.* Yep, that's me. Who gets an ulcer during a freakin' vacation?!

So, classes have started and things are busy but I hope to be back and blogging this weekend. :)

Happy New Year!

* The doctor said it might also be Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but holy crap that is not as glamorous so we will pretend it's not.